To blog or not to blog.  I feel like that has been the question that I have been wrestling with for the last year or so.  I’m sure most of you have noticed my unannounced, unintentional hiatus.  Where a few months turned into more months, which turned into over a year.  

Real talk, the last year has been a difficult one.  A lot has changed, and a lot about what changed left me unmotivated and uninspired.  I experienced love, loss and hardship like never before over the last year.  My best friend lost his father, a man that I had known for nearly 20 years.  Elliot and I took our first vacation together, which strengthened our bond.  I was the Maid of Honour at my best friend’s wedding.  And I experienced another more personal loss.

My grandmother was very sick over most of 2016.  She had been fighting a battle with stage four Colon Cancer, which changed a lot about how my family functioned.  She passed away in January.  Her illness left me with so many emotions and a lot to think about.  After I delivered her eulogy, I was left with a sense of ‘what do I want my life to be about’ and a pandora of thoughts we all contemplate after experiencing death.  

My grandmother was a huge inspiration to me.  She was the creative one in our family, and she nurtured that in me.  She taught me how to draw and paint, how to hand sew and cut out patterns.  Whenever I’m asked about where my love of fashion comes from, I always remember making Barbie clothes with my Joja (that’s what I called her since when I was little I couldn’t say Vova, the Portuguese word for grandmother).  She always supported me and my creativity and that was our special bond.

So what does my existential life dilemma have to do with blogging?  Well, a lot when you create a fashion and lifestyle blog, that’s centered around your fashion and lifestyle.  I started blogging as a creative outlet that Elliot and I could share in together.  I wanted to blog as a way to connect with others and help inspire.  

I created Just Biffi to expand my voice into another creative avenue.  A voice that I feel I lost sight of.  It’s hard to want to create and share when all you want it to retreat and protect yourself.  With loss comes mourning.  And that needs a voice too.  

I needed time and also to reclaim my own space for myself.  Elliot has been a major motivator in helping me come out from under the darkness.  Being the wonderful man that he is, he had been revamping the site.  It is finally all done and we are really proud of it.  Just Biffi started as a fashion blog, but with a new motivation I hope it will transition into much more.  

This is my 100th post. And while it is not a big flashy editorial, its’s important to me.  It’s a fresh start and a new outlook.  Just Biffi is about fun and my life, it’s a place for me to create with the man I love and show the world (or the small part of it that cares enough to check it out) what I’m about.  I don’t think I could ask for more.  And I think Joja would be proud.